30 Day Asexuality Challenge; Day 18

18. Tell us a funny joke about asexuality.

It doesn’t exist.

</black humour>

Seriously though? I don’t know all that many*. 

So have some funny pictures instead, which I found though the magic of google(reader).

DISCLAIMER: I am a poor student. I own nothing, and am more than happy to give credit where credit is due. If you know who made these, give me a yell and I'll link to the original post.

BUT FIRST! A SONG! (not this song, another one)

(To the tune of "I just had sex")

Sometimes
Something beautiful happens
in this world

Oh
Aces
And lonely asexuals

You don’t know how to express yourself so
You just gotta sing

I just had cake
And it was so good (was so good)
a warm piece of cake let me put my fork inside it (it)
I just had cake (Hey!)
And I’ll never go back (never go back)
To the not-having-cake
Ways of the past

Have you ever had cake?
I have, it tastes great
It feels so good when I have it in my mouth

My girl made it for me
It literally just happened
Having cake could make a nice man out’ the meanest

You’ll never guess where I just came from
I had cake
If I had to describe the feeling it was the best

When I had the cake
Man, my tummy felt great
And I called my parents right after I was done

Oh hey, didn’t see you there
Guess what I just did
Had cake, cake mix, ate the frosting and the rest

Well sure
Nice of her to make you that thing

Nice of any girl ever

Now sing

I just had cake
And it was so good (was so good)
a warm piece of cake let me put my fork inside it (it)
I Wanna tell the world

To be honest
I’m surprised she even wanted me to have it

Doesn’t really make sense

But man, screw it

I ain’t one to argue with a good thing

She could be my wife

That good?

The best damn cake I’ve had in my life

I’m so humbled by that girls ability to bake that cake

even if it tasted bad, I’d eat it for her sake
With that in mind the soft, nice-smellin’ cake’s better

She let me wear my chain and my turtle neck sweater

So this one’s dedicated to them girls
That make us cake and keep us around them
If you’re near or far, whether short or tall
We wanna thank you all for bakin’ cake for us

She kept looking at her watch
 
Doesn’t matter, had cake

But I ate the whole time

Doesn’t matter, had cake

I think she might have been a racist

Doesn’t matter, I had cake

She ate it in bed 
Still counts!

I just had cake
And my dreams came true (dreams came true)
So if you had cake in the last 30 minutes then you’re qualified to sing with me
I just had cake (everybody sing!)
And it felt so good (we all had cake!)
My tummy had warm cake inside it (I wanna tell the whole world!)
I just had cake (I just had cake!)
And I’ll never go back (no, no, no!)
To the not-having-cake
Ways of the past~

(Stolen from here)

And this one, from here, which is possibly my favourite at the moment

which really needs the image description to go with it:

Image: Pinkie Pie, the overenthusiastic and gregarious horse from My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic, is rearing up on her hind legs. She has been crudely photoshopped to resemble a Bad Asexual Fairy, with an ace-of-spades shaped wand, sparkly wings and an asexual flag over her flank. Behind her, and partly obscured by her, is a wall of text, starting with large font and ending up tiny. This says:

GREAT, YOU’RE ASEXUAL! HAVE YOU FIGURED OUT WHAT ROMANTIC ORIENTATION YOU ARE YET?! WE ALL HAVE ONE! (KINDA). THAT GUY OVER THERE IS HOMOROMANTIC, HE’S ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER, BUT NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY! ISN’T THAT GREAT! BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE! IF THAT DOESN’T HELP, YOU CAN SPLIT YOUR CONCEPTS OF ATTRACTION DOWN INTO SMALLER AND SMALLER PARTS UNTIL YOU HAVE A REALLY GOOD IDEA WHAT MAKES YOU TICK, AND, HEY LOOK, A CONVERSATION ABOUT NON-TRADITIONAL INTIMACY MODELS, YOU COMING? SO IT DOESN’T MATTER TO US WHAT YOU DECIDE YOU ARE–THE IMPORTANT BIT IS THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR LABEL FITS AND IS COMFORTABLE, AND IF THE WORDS DON’T WORK YOU SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE SOME UP!!! MAKE UP SOME WORDS! GO ON! IT’S FUN! HERE, TRY SOME PUNS!! HAVE A GOURD! DOES THIS FIT? NO? WELL, HOW ABOUT THESE? DO THESE MODELS SEEM USEFUL? LOOK! I DREWED YOU A GRAPH! AND ANOTHER GRAPH, I DIDN’T LIKE THAT ONE!! YOU ARE THE POINT OF ORIGIN! NOW YOU’RE SPECIAL!! HOORAY! LOOK, HERE’S A RIDICULOUSLY COMPLEX SPIDER CHART! HOW MANY MORE DIMENSIONS DO YOU NEED? I’M UP TO 26! YOU SHOULD SEE IF YOU CAN CHART YOUR ORIENTATIONS TO BOTH MEN AND WOMEN AND POSSIBLY NONBINARY PEOPLE!! HAVE YOU NOT QUESTIONED YOUR GENDER YET, BY THE WAY? GET THEE TO A YADARY! IT’S FUUUUUUUUN! AND WHAT MAKES GENDER ANYWAY? HAVE SOME MORE LABELS…

*The one I do know is "I don’t know what happened. I got wasted the other night, I woke up and there were two of me."