Sunday, 17 July 2011

30 Day Asexuality Challenge; Day 11

11. If you’re out, talk about the most accepting person you’ve come out to. If you’re not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

Funnily enough, the most accepting person I’m out to I didn’t actually come out to (It’s S, by the way. I have mentioned him before). A mutual friend (who is possibly one of the other most accepting people I’m out to, if not the second most accepting person*) outed me to him.

Before someone points out that involuntarily outing me to someone is not the most accepting thing to do, know that I had discussed being out/outed with this mutual friend (henceforth known as W), and had said I didn’t really care who I was out to as long as it didn’t get back to my family (beyond the reasons that I’m not out to them yet, I also think that when I come out I want to do so on my terms and not someone else’s).

Anyway, W outed me to S while explaining the joke he’d played on A, which was something about ‘setting us up’. This was during the period where S and I had lost contact, and so when we got back into contact S already knew which way I (don’t) swing.

(Interestingly enough, I didn’t realise that I hadn’t come out to S until recently. I realised that I had no memory of outing myself to him, commented on that lack of memory, and then he pointed out that I actually hadn’t come out to him. If I recall correctly, my reaction to that was “oops.”**)

But yeah, S is probably the most accepting person I’m out to. He’s the person who’ll turn to me during romantic moments in movies/discussions of the wanting thereof and say “borogoves?”, and he’s the one who’ll laugh with me when people think we’re dating (when we’re both not getting annoyed by said presumptions). He’s the one who I can ask questions such as “explain hotness” and he’s the one who actually answers them.
He’s the one who I think of as my unrelated-by-blood brother, and he’s among my top  three most precious people. Without him, I’d probably be far less stable then I am.

He also reads this blog.

Thank you, S. I’m not sure you’ll ever understand just how much you mean to me.

* we’ve had many a D&M about relationships and what we want from them/why/etc. He's also one of the people who have asked questions in a manner which haven't been overtly prying but rather honestly trying to understand.

**...and I just realised that if W hadn’t outed me to S, I would have outed myself to him when I basically broke down over msn because of the Privilege Denying Asexual debacle. In retrospect, it’s an even better thing that W outed me to S.

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